What to do immediately afteR a nightmare

Have you ever woken up from a vivid dream or nightmare with the fear of falling back asleep? Sometimes, the dream itself feels more real than our waking reality, and although our dreams carry layers and dimensions of truth, it is still important to find our ground and calm the body.

 

Understanding Dreams

Spiritual leader of the Sápara Nation, Manari Ushigua, states that our dreams are a “clean technology” that help us bridge the gap between the physical and spiritual worlds. When our dreams are turbulent, they can have various meanings, one of which being that we are experiencing inner turbulence in our organism: mind, body, and spirit. From a psychological perspective, our dreams consolidate and process the events of our day, so waking up in the middle of this process can definitely disrupt this process and evoke anxiety.

 

Some Causes of Nightmares

Trauma

Emotional stress

Suppressed emotions

Anxieties

Imbalances in the gut

Dysregulated nervous system

Imbalance of energy

In my personal experience, I have found the following to also impact my sleep:

 

Wearing too many layers of clothing and overheating

Irregular bowel movements

Not giving my body a chance to stretch throughout the day

Hearing or witnessing something triggering and not tending to my somatic responses for comfort

Spending the day distracted

Not moving enough

Working on my computer all day

An imbalanced diet

Still processing psychological traumas

Unchecked negative thinking

 

Immediate Actions to Take After a Nightmare

The most important thing to remember when the body and mind are dysregulated is to seek grounding. Self-soothing is a superpower and the secret to getting through nightmares.

Incorporating structure after a structureless dream is a powerful way to pull yourself back. Structure includes: counting, moving your body with intention, controlling your breathing, and reconnecting with your five senses.

 

1. Put your hand on your heart and the other on your belly and feel as your breath travels to your belly.

 

2. Take deep, slow breaths from the nose. Box breathing is a great way to regulate your nervous system.

 

3. Move and wiggle your toes and fingers, introducing subtle movement. Moving your body, even in the most subtle way, can bring back a feeling of control. When we depart from a nightmare, it is common to feel powerless, so controlling the subtle movements of the body can introduce a feeling of autonomy.

 

4. Look around the room to remind yourself of where you are. If it is pitch black, you can use your hands to feel the mattress, the pillow, the headboard, etc.

 

5. Smell something like an essential oil, a piece of gum, or a smudged plant. Activating the sensory experience will instantly invite you back into the body.

 

6. If the nightmare was especially intense, walk barefoot around your room and/or come down into child’s pose.

 

7. If you are having trouble grounding yourself, get a piece of gum or candy and chew on it, paying attention to the flavor and texture.

 

8. Imagine creating space around your emotional distress. “Space” is such a nebulous word, but one way to create space is to validate your experience. If a part of you is saying, “that was such a disturbing dream,” you can whisper back to yourself with your hand to your heart, “I know. That was very disturbing.” You can also imagine your breath creating expansion in the area of your body that feels distressed. Nothing can erupt when given enough space.

 

9. I don’t like to advise technology, but sometimes looking at your vision board or an ASMR video on YouTube (I recommend ones like this and this) can help remind you of the simple, benevolent joys of life. You can set a time limit and return to your breath before falling back asleep.

 

10. Check in and see what part of your body feels activated. Place your hand on that part of your body while taking slow, deep breaths.

 

11. When you are feeling more grounded, I highly recommend that you write down your dream, detailing every single thing, including the details that you think don’t matter (trust me, they do!). This will help you better understand the content of the dream so as to better understand your subconscious.

If you don’t remember your dream but woke up scared, you can write down how you woke up feeling emotionally and somatically. Describe this with detail, beyond “I feel afraid.” Afraid of being chased? Afraid of being alone? Afraid of being in danger? What other experiences in your life felt this exact way?

 

Going Forward

 

Therapy

If nightmares are a recurring ordeal, you might consider finding a therapist, ideally one who is trained in somatic therapy, Internal Family Systems (IFS), shadow work, or other mind-body holistic therapies. Our “issues are in the tissues,” therefore, it is important to look at our dreams as a reflection of our entire system.

 

Nighttime Routine

Implementing a nighttime routine that includes skincare rituals, gentle stretching, a short meditation, or reading a positive book before bed can have a tremendous impact on our dreams. Clearing away the day before will allow you to make space for the “technology” of your dream space.

 

Healthy Diet

I’m sure you’ve already heard that our gut and our brain are connected. Ensuring your diet is balanced, with healthy fats, proteins, fiber, carbs, probiotics (and whatever else your particular body needs), you will see drastic improvements in your mental state, digestion, and ability to cope with stress. If our diet is filled with caffeine, alcohol, processed foods, and foods our particular body is sensitive to, then we will create turbulence within our organism which can disturb our quality of sleep.

Remember: our diet is also what we mentally consume.

 

Movement

One thing I learned in my MindBody studies is that our body is meant to be in motion. Yes, cardio, but I’m especially referring to subtle movements like yogic asanas, stretches, walking, postures and salutations, shaking, dancing, etc. Ask yourself when the sun sets, “Did I move intentionally today?” If not, incorporate it into your day, even when you’re watching TV or reading a book. 

 

Holding Space

Our inner world can feel scary and overwhelming when we are in avoidance of it. Perhaps we aren’t necessarily experiencing turbulence inside but rather, haven’t gained enough experience in holding space for our emotions, thus leading to the feeling of turbulence. Believe it or not, when we are feeling overwhelmed by our dreams or emotions, our body wants us to lean into that state and give it space. Our knee-jerk reaction is to avoid it or numb it, however, we soothe ourselves when we create space for our emotions. 

 

Listening to the Body

Somatic awareness and embodiment techniques are on the rise and it’s about time. Inviting somatic awareness all throughout moments of your day can ensure that you are taking care of your body’s needs. What is it craving? Does it need a break from work to stretch? Would it benefit from a deep breath? 

 

Connecting with Plants

Plants are our allies. Having a plant in your room or smudging an ethically harvested plant can cleanse the air in your room and offer energetic protection from stagnant, stale energies. You may hold a plant leaf in your hand, put it under your pillow or beside your bed, or get more fresh air throughout the day to cleanse your energy and recalibrate.

 

Conclusion

While nightmares can be disturbing, they are normal and universal. No one can determine what your dreams mean, so it is important to focus on the things you can control: your routine and mindset.

Establishing a healthy, holistic lifestyle that incorporates mind-body awareness, while also journaling your dreams and connecting with nature, you will be on your way to better sleep.